I was quite excited to read about the new UK eye test regulations, announced by the government last week. This will make a massive difference to me in terms of saving both time and money! No more traipsing up to London to attend my appointments at Moorfields Eye Hospital – I’ll save an absolute fortune on rail fares! No sitting around in clinic waiting rooms for entire mornings; no stinging dilation drops to contend with; no more following the ophthalmologist’s instructions to ‘look up, look down, look left…’ etc, whilst waiting for the verdict with baited breath! No more pressure checks, with my heart thumping in terror in case it’s too high; no more struggling to read the Snellen chart; no more stumbling home in a literal post-appointment blur, with sore, dilated eyes! None of that!
Because now, according to the government, all I have to do is pop out and take the car for a quick spin to check my vision! Well, when I say, ‘quick spin’, the government has said it’s reasonable to drive approximately 30 miles to Barnard Castle before returning back to base. But I’m assuming I don’t need to take a trip to Durham first, and that a 60-mile trip anywhere will do. Or possibly just to any castle? The government weren’t entirely clear on the issue, for some reason. However, in terms of castles, I have plenty of options! I could drive to Canterbury castle, but that’s only about 9 miles from me, so possibly not far enough to be sure that my eyesight is really okay for driving.
Alternatively, there’s Deal Castle, which is between 20 and 25 miles, depending on which route I take. Or there’s Dover Castle, which is between 27 and 34 miles, so that’s looking more likely. To crank up the mileage, I could always do a route taking in all three, of course. An alternative option is Leeds castle, which – somewhat confusingly – is situated not in Yorkshire but near Maidstone, at a distance of 29 or 33 miles, again depending on the route. It’s well worth a visit as the grounds are stunning (if your eyesight is up to scratch, of course), although the admissions prices are eye-wateringly expensive. But with all that money I’ll be saving on rail fares – who cares! I can even treat myself to a cream tea whilst I’m there! I’ll just get out of the car and sit on the side of the moat, being careful to social distance. Someone may have to butter the scones for me if my eyesight is getting a bit blurry, mind.
So, UK eye buddies… no doubt you’re as excited as me by this news?! Please do share in the comments below which castle you’ll be visiting, next time you’re due to see your optometrist or ophthalmologist!
Here’s a selection of the best images I’ve spotted on social media, following the government’s news:
RD Ramblings 